Why Are Closed Room Murders So Beautiful? (密室殺人はなぜ美しいのか) is a short story written by Ryukishi07 that was released on a special book service to coincide with the release of the first volume of the Legend of the Golden Witch manga. The story was published in November 2008.

The English translation was made by milkypink on AnimeSuki. Japanese transcript comes from the Japanese Umineko wiki.

English Transcript[edit | edit source]

Closed-room murders that have mastered puzzle-like circumstances to supremacy reach even the level of art.

Detectives probably admire that sublimity.

And so they are permitted to observe closely.

This is certainly the greatest joy of closed-room murders.

Detectives with good perception may doubt my work but, the closed room is perfect.

There exists nothing to relate me to it.[1]

However needless to say, closed room murders are inferior to undetected murders.

Closed room murders are visited by detectives, and are challenged.

Even though to me it is a perfect closed-room murder, should a detective's genius exceed my own, there are cases where that perfection is solved, and it collapses.

And yet, undiscovered murders are not visited by detectives. Because no one challenges them, they do not collapse.

...That is at a single glance, what seems to be the highest peak of "Murder Art". ("Art of Murder")

"Murder Art" is actually a phrase that can properly be said, I think.

Art is a level first reached when something is shown to people and they accept the value of it.

No matter how great a work, if criticism is feared and it is not announced, that work is absolutely not art.

If that is something that can also be said of murder art.

The event coming to light is absolute, so undetected is already out of the question.

Murders, must come to light.

Nevertheless, if a crime is impossible for anyone to commit, great admiration and the beauty of a closed room troubles the mind.

A right to challenge exists for them, and in spite of the possibility of making the closed room collapse having been given, they are frustrated.[2]

So they probably all say it.

That, "This kind of closed room is impossible for a human."

At that time, for an instant, my existence as a being higher than humans is recognized by them.

The necessary method for making them recognize me as a witch is such that without fear, there is also no coercion.

That is only "beauty" "sublimity".

With closed room murders whose sublimity has mastered the highest peak of murder art, only when they feel it in the depths of their hearts, will they recognize me as a witch.

So I decorate the murders beautifully, and so they are brought to light.

According to murder art, to make them recognize me as a witch.

The curtain on this murder play has only just opened.

Dear readers, you probably will absolutely not recognize the murders from this point on as crimes of a witch.

You will probably come to decide that they are definitely the act of a human.

.... kukkukkukku!

Unwillingly and disrespectfully that's what eeeveryone says! kukkukukukuku!

Things like, definitely will not yield, definitely will try to reason.

All saying valiant things.

I'm actually glad, how pleasant!

Such fellows rolling about, fainting in agony, attempting self-defense until the very end, all giving excuses, listening to that is something I'm really looking forward to...!

Anyhow, things like that there must be a hidden door somewhere, that there's a duplicate master key no one knows about.

Crush them.

That this murder play is "Serious Mystery", can't I promise??

Give it up.

This murder play is "After All Fantasy"!

Your game of playing detective is nothing more than a waste of time!

And yet still, even though I am before your eyes still, you advocates of human supremacy who are able to assert that this murder play is a mystery, welcome to my banquet!

To those human supremacy advocates who explain everything using humans and tricks, without being able to show respect to the multitude of existence of all miracles and noble beings that are non-human in this world, I heartfully welcome you!

When will you pledge to lick my shoes!

To have yielded so easily is boring.

Until the very end, you who will cling to the tiniest thing that makes it a mystery, in the sea of the beautiful murder art, will be made to nearly drown and suffer, and at that end of the end, I will make you lick my shoes!

Welcome, to my banquet.

The Golden Witch Beatrice welcomes you!

Ah, by the way, do you have a favorite color?

I'll receive you in a dress and shoes of that color.

To be made to choose the color of the shoes you lick, don't you think that's a stylish arrangement?

Kukkukukukuhhyahhyahahahaha...!!!

Japanese Transcript[edit | edit source]

パズル的境地を究極まで極めた密室殺人は芸術の域にさえ達する。

その神々しさに探偵たちは感嘆するだろう。

そしてその様を間近で見ることが許される。

これこそが密室殺人最大の愉悦。

勘のいい探偵たちは私の仕事を疑うだろうが、密室は完璧。

私を関連付けるものは何も存在したりはない。

しかし言うに及ばず、密室殺人は非発覚殺人に劣る。

密室殺人は探偵が訪れ、挑む。

自分にとって完璧な密室殺人であっても、探偵が自分を超える天才であったなら、その完璧は解かれ、瓦解して しまうこともあるだろう。

だが、非発覚殺人は探偵は訪れない。誰も挑まないから、瓦解することはない。

…それは一見すると「殺人芸術」の最高峰に思える。

「殺人芸術」とは実によく言い得た言葉だと思う。

芸術は人に見せて評価を受け、初めてその域に達する。

どのような優れた作品も、批評を恐れて発表しないならば、その作品は断じて芸術ではないのであ る。

それが殺人芸術にも言えることならば。

事件の発覚は絶対であり、非発覚はもはや論外であることになる。

殺人は、発覚しなければならない。

にもかかわらず、誰もが不可能犯罪であると絶賛し、美しき密室に頭を悩ませる。

彼らには挑む権利があり、密室を瓦解させる可能性が与えられているにもかかわらず、彼らは挫折する。それを 私は間近で閲覧することが出来る。

そして彼らは口々に言うだろう。

「人間にこんな密室殺人は不可能だ。」、と。

その時こそ、私は人間以上の存在であると彼らによって認められる瞬間なのである。

私を魔女だと認めさせるのに必要な方法は、恐怖でなければ強要でもない。

それは「美しさ」「神々しさ」だけなのである。

殺人芸術の最高峰を極めた神々しき密室殺人に、心の底から屈した時にだけ、彼らは私のことを魔女だと認める のである。

だから私は殺人を美しく飾り、そしてそれを発覚させる。

殺人芸術によって、私を魔女だと認めさせる。

この殺人劇はまだ幕を開けたばかり。

読者諸兄は、おそらくこれから起こる殺人を、断じて魔女の犯罪とは認めないだろう。

絶対に人間の仕業だと決めてかかるだろう。

……くっくっくっく!

いやいや失敬みィんなそう言うんだよ!くっくくくくくく!

絶対に屈しないぞとか、絶対に推理してみせるぞとか。

口々勇ましいことを言うんだよ。

妾は実に嬉しい、微笑ましい!

そういう輩が転げまわって悶絶し、最後には自己弁護を図り、口々に言い訳するのを聞くのが本当に楽しみなの だ…!

どうせどこかに隠し扉があるはずだとか、誰も知らないマスターキーの複製があるんだとか。

挫けろよ。

この殺人劇が「本格ミステリー」だなんて、妾は約束できねェぜ??

諦めろよ。

この殺人劇は「どうせファンタジー」!

そなたの推理ごっこなど時間の無駄に過ぎぬわ!

それでもなお、妾を眼前にしてもなお、この殺人劇をミステリーだと言い張れる人間至上主義者よ、ようこそ我 が宴へ!

この世に数多存在する全ての奇跡と人ならざる高貴な存在に敬意を示せず、全てを人間とトリックで説明する人 間至上主義者を妾は心より歓迎する!

そなたがいつ妾の靴を舐めることを誓うのか!

そう簡単に屈服されてもつまらない。

最後の最後まで、ミステリーなる矮小なものにしがみ付くそなたを、美しき殺人芸術の海で溺れ苦しませ、その 挙句の果てには妾の靴を舐めさせて見せようぞ!

ようこそ、我が宴へ。

黄金の魔女ベアトリーチェはそなたを歓迎する!

あぁ、ところでそなたは、好きな色はあるのか?

その色のドレスと靴でそなたを出迎えよう。

舐める靴の色を選ばせてやろうなんて、粋な計らいだとは思わんか?

くっくくくくくっひゃっひゃっははははははは…!!!

Notes[edit | edit source]

  1. TL Note: This is literally what she's saying, but I don't quite understand the meaning.
  2. TL Note: I'm a little unsure of this line

Sources[edit | edit source]

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