The 07th Public Bath Event Begins!

The 07th Public Bath Event Begins! (07th 大浴場、開幕！, 07th Daiyokujou, Kaimaku!) is a story written by Ryukishi07 for the 07th Public Bath 2022 event and released on October 1, 2022. It centers on characters from Higurashi When They Cry and Umineko When They Cry gathering together to run their own shops during the 07th Public Bath. An official English translation was done by Uminetta and made available for free download on the 07th Public Bath's website.

Plot Summary[]

The 07th Public Bath, a web-based event where people can sell things, has finally begun. It’s not limited to Japan however, and allows people all over the world to join. Keropoyo introduces himself as part of the preparatory committee and goes around to inspect the various circles. Since this was a virtual space from the Ciconia world, characters from the Higurashi and Umineko worlds could participate as well.

Keropoyo’s first visit is to a circle where the Seven Stakes of Purgatory are hyping up Beatrice’s new book. They assume it’ll be about Beatrice and Battler’s married life, with a long line of goats gathered to purchase it. Keropoyo invokes his privilege as part of the committee to see what the book is about, only to find Beatrice wearing a sign saying “I am an idiot witch who spent her entire time playing games and slacked off with her manuscript.” Battler chastises Beato for not showing him anything, and she explains that so many new games came out over the summer and she was busy playing them. Battler is still annoyed since she kept lying about her progress on the manuscript, and so she’ll be publicly shamed like this.

Keropoyo moves on to a circle owned by Keiichi and Kameda. Keiichi is publishing a book containing 100 of his best moe speeches, which Kameda believes will become the Bible for a new world. The next circle is run by Maria, who’s selling Sakutarou merchandise. She’s especially proud of an oversized Sakutarou that’s made out of fiber used in bulletproof vests, so it can withstand being stabbed or torn apart. Keropoyo sees the Witch of Origins gave Sakutarou the strongest body she could so as to never lose him again.

Jessica runs her own circle to publish a music album as Krauss and Natsuhi dote on her. Another circle is being run by George’s family, with Eva worrying if George can handle customers. Hideyoshi offers to teach some techniques. Keropoyo comments on how close ciconia-born families really are.

Keropoyo visits Rena’s circle next, where she’s selling a lot of kyute things made from recycled materials. Rena states her belief that the form an object takes after being reborn should be because of a private discussion between the person and the item, and compares it to a wedding.

At Will’s circle, he’s publishing a book about foreign exchange techniques. Lion gets on his case for dumping all his money into FX after retiring from the Great Court of Heaven. Clair takes an interest however, and Lion tries to dissuade her. Will is confident that he and Clair can become millionaires from FX, and Lion then produces a butt-pinching device to make him shut up.

Keropoyo meets Satoko and Rika at their circle, who are doing St. Lucia costume cosplays. Tomitake takes a lot of pictures of them. The girls produce a bucket of red paint and splash it all over themselves, and then pull out a cardboard chandelier to lie under.

Keropoyo visits the Angel of 17 Years circle. Ange and Virgilia argue over the content of their books, with much of their conversation censored by Keropoyo’s filters. Mammon shows up to help. Meanwhile, Mion and Shion are selling body pillows of themselves and argue over their pricing and attractiveness.

Erika is selling a book about chopsticks etiquette. Dlanor says she prefers a fork and knife and shows off by poking several beans in midair with a fork. Erika asks Dlanor to throw some beans her way and does the exact same trick, but then shows that each of the beans have been molded to look like dice.

Miyao, Jayden, and Gunhild observe the event, and say that they would also join if they didn’t have the International Battle Standard Festival. They talk about music and “Vokyaloid”; Miyao makes fun of Jayden for having bishoujo anime ringtones, and Gunhild mentions a rumor that some voice accessories interfere with Keropoyo and make him glitch out. If you defy Keropoyo, he’ll send info about your favorite voices to all your friends. Keropoyo reminds Jayden that he’s sent several warnings about installations and that he’d send error logs to high-ranked friends as backup. Miyao says Jayden’s favorite voice is one where a cutesy voices wakes him up in the morning, much to Jayden’s terror. Meow says she’ll remember that, and Jayden pleads with Keropoyo to erase both of the Mitakes’ memories.

During all this, Miyao was cosplaying as Rena, Jayden was Beatrice, and Gunhild was wearing an Angel Mort costume. Keropoyo announces that the 07th Public Bath has begun and asks the readers to enjoy themselves.